I tried to return Alan's Tupperware cakethingy, but there was a woman's voice coming through the door, and I washappy that Alan had found himself some company, so I let them be. Thatnight I heard high heels clomping around next door, and ultimately fellasleep thinking that if Alan could find himself a girlfriend, I wouldcertainly get lucky soon. I was having a delightfully erotic dream (Sarah was teaching all the girlsin my apartment complex how to give me head) when a loud noise roused mefrom my sleep. A few more thumps and it started to sound like somebody wasbeing beaten up. I listened closely and could single out an agitated malevoice that didn't belong to Alan. I almost called the cops, but in the endI dialed Alan's number to see what was going on.I heard the phone ring through the wall and the commotion immediately dieddown. The answering machine came on. "Alan, it's Mike next door. Pick up,"I said. No reply. "Alan, are you okay?" Complete silence next door. "Okay,I'm. . only takea ... moment. But first ... am I correct ... to assume that this ...handsome gentleman is ... your husband Laird ... and that one of ...these two stalwart lads ... is Blair's brother Kirk?"Big Al used a few choice words to correct the misapprehension."A thousand pardons ... my dear girl. Of course, Kirk ... looks morethe man ... than you. And last ... but far from least ... is Blair,who was ... stunning, simply stunning ... in her dance debut. However,do tell me ... child, why you were ... cast in a male role. I wouldhave ... assumed a priori ... that you, of ... all girls, would have... insisted on a female role ... if not that of ... Giselle herself.Certainly, you are attractive ... and feminine enough ... for the leadfemale role." La Rond terminated this encomium with a loud belch. Hehad finished his snacks. He wouldn't tarry long at the table beforehunting for more.Blair beamed - almost as brightly as Maggie, who quickly explained thatBlair hadn't been given a.
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